I started classes and they're all going pretty well, so far. I haven't had World Literature, it was cancelled for the week but that didn't stop my teacher from assigning a bunch of homework. I had to drop my British Literature class and pick up English Literature. Apparently, it's focused towards English majors so I'll have that for the first time tomorrow. I'm nervous, I have never changed my schedule therefore; I've never missed the first day of class. Fingers crossed all goes well. I can already tell from my planner that I will have a very busy semester. My financial situation worked out, I got my refund check and it was twice as much as I thought it would be. THAT was a huge stress reliever for me and on top of that, my loans were deferred until I graduate so I'm set! No more freaking out for me, everything worked out.
On another note, I know that I said that I wasn't worried about boys this year.. well, anyone who is a girl and reading this knows that I was full of shit. Boys will always be a part of my life, especially since majority of my friends are guys and well, I got to school with a number of people that I was once involved with. Also, I have a lot of girl friends that come to me and talk to me about their exes, current boyfriends and potential partners. With that, I have a question. Can exes be friends? Or is it just destined that exes walk past each other like they don't know each other. I have always tried to be friends with my exes no matter how significant or insignificant our relationship was. The way I see it is that a relationship is made of two people who have decided to commit themselves to each other. They are monogamous and faithful to one person, enjoying each other's company and growing together. Now, growing together doesn't always happen and some couples end up growing apart. At that time, they decide to split ways.
I have only been in long-term relationships so I may see it differently than some but I know that when Alex and I broke up, we still talked. We were together for two years, after that amount of time, how do you just cut someone out of your life like they never existed? Alex and I are friends and he talks to me about his current girlfriend without it bothering me. At one point, we were in love, but just because we aren't now doesn't mean that a friendship can be formed. Right? We chose to be in each other's lives for a reason. Having a platonic relationship doesn't mean that the reasons don't exist anymore. I started dating him because he made me laugh and was easy to get along with. We just worked and those are the same reasons that I have kept him as a friend.
That's how I've always thought but now I'm beginning to see that maybe that's not how it is. Maybe I've been crazy to think that exes can be friends with one another. I've passed one of my exes three times in the past 24hours and it's like the two years we shared never happened. He seems like a stranger now. An onlooker would have no idea that at one point, our lives crossed paths let alone that we were in love with each other. A part of me yearns to have a friendship with him, to have the ability to talk to him about his life and what has happened in the past 10 months since our final goodbye. I know that he has a new girlfriend, they've been dating almost the same amount of time that we've been broken up. I've known about her and have moved on from him and yet, the silence remains between us. However; the other part is thinking that maybe this is how it is supposed to be. My dad once told me, "When you were really in love with someone, you can't just be friends with them."
It's situational. I don't think the time you dated someone has anything to do with it either. It's a maturity thing, and varies with the relationship and each person. Some people just are not good for you; they bring you down and are, in other words, simply toxic to your life. Just because you were in love with them doesn't mean they have to be in your life forever. It's still going to suck, but that's part of the letting go process. The relationship didn't last for a reason, therefore they're in you're past for a reason. I struggle with this too, but looking back at the reasons as to why me and my exes are no longer together gives good reason as to why I can live without having that person's friendship. I'll never forget them, but I'm okay without them. Now, there's nothing wrong with being a decent human being and cordial if someone is seen out in public, but again, it's situational. Some people would rather throw a rock at an ex if they see them than think of ever saying hi, haha. Look at it this way, you went a good 18 years without them in your life, I think you can manage :). Life always goes on, with or without you! <3
ReplyDeleteThis is why you're my best friend. You make so much sense! :) <3
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